so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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