A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
