yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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