I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
