Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
