That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
