69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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