i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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