Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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