I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
