i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
