You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
