someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
