On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I am naked and annoyed.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
