I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
