Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize