We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cannot find my penis.
My pussy is not your playground.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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