Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
