I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
