So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
