can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
