How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
