the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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