didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
