I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
