Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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