covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
