It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
