Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
