i think my mom watched the whole time
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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