and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You know, be my cock's hype man.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
