I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
