im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize