yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There's always time for handjobs
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
