I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We got so high we made milksteak
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
