you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
