Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
