I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize