In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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