he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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