just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he fucked my hip out of place.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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