just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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