Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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