If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
