i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Im part way to drunk.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
