My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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