uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
