a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
