I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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