next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All I want is dick and wine.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
