omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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